Christmas Eve was upon us, and I hadn’t even started my present shopping. Time was draining faster than an iPhone battery, and I didn’t know where to begin. “The store will be closing in five minutes”, Satan announced over the tannoy. There was a tight constriction in my throat as the realisation kicked in, and my heart pumped faster and faster. There was no time left. I dashed across the road, the sound of sleigh bells ringing in my ears, and burst into a nearby Tesco, panicking and dripping with sweat. Brand new toys lined the snaking metal shelves – robots, masks, ponies, action figures – with flashy colours and even flashier price tags. Football merchandise invaded a corner of the store, hailing the famous title memories of the summer. With seconds to spare, I grabbed a pink furby for Rida and a toy train for Karl, and flung them into the basket, ready to be wrapped up and gifted. I emerged victorious, the moon now high in the Leicester night sky. Karl’s house was only ten minutes away, and I decided to deliver the present myself.
Hello xat Karl, would you like to be my next interviewee? Can I ask you some private questions?
What’s your real name, how old are you, where are you living and what are you studying/what field are you working in?
My real name is Karl, I’m 19, I live in Leicester and I’m studying computer science.
What do you prefer, computer science or Leicester football team?
That’s an easy one. Leicester obviously.
How would you describe yourself?
Describing myself is pretty simple; I have brown hair, brown eyes, a slightly below average nose and a mouth. I’m also a very nice person, I care a great deal about everyone and everything.
For how long have you been on xat and how did you discover it?
Everyone seems to be able to say how they found xat, but I actually can’t. I don’t remember how I got here, or why I even stayed. I’ve been on this shambles of a website since 2007.
So you suddenly spawned on xat in 2007? What was the first impression you remember?
Yes, that’s exactly how I got here. I spawned! My first impression was that the site was actually rather bad. I knew no one and for some obscene reason I felt socially awkward. It was a bit strange but when I started talking to people it felt much better.
Do you have an interesting/funny fact to tell on xat?
What is your global impression of xat now?
What is the best year you spent on xat?
My best year on xat was easily 2009. Everyone was pretty neat and it was just a great time in general. A lot of great people from that time aren’t on here anymore but yeah.
Why did you stay then and how long do you think you’ll stay on xat?
What would you consider your best memory on xat?
I’d say the first time I got staff at help was probably my best memory. It was something I had aimed for for a long time and worked hard towards it. Once I got it I realized it had actually required a huge amount of time and effort.
Let’s talk about the xat community and your friends.
What do you think about the xat community?
I don’t really have an opinion on the xat community. I only talk to a few people, and that’s it. But from what I’ve seen, it’s alright. Could be a lot better if people cared about the potential xat had.
Who do you trust a lot on xat?
I don’t really trust many people on xat. Everyone is out for personal gain. The people who I trust a large amount are Life and Muffins. Although Muffins is a huge liability and he acts extremely immature.
Have you ever met one of them or someone from xat?
I’ve never met any of these three before, maybe down the line I’ll meet Life, but Muffins is a big no. The only person I’ve met from xat is someone called Jed/Glitch, he used to be the main at Hangout. Was a little strange but it was pretty neat in the end. We met in our local shopping center, not entirely sure why we met there. We went and sat on a park bench for an hour. That was literally it. The highlight of us meeting was his mum sending me abusive voice mails explaining how she was going to kill me.
Do you have a role model on xat?
I wouldn’t say I have a role model on xat now. When I cared about chats and stuff I always looked up to Spell. The way he did things and how he seemed like the ideal way to be.
What about Flake?
Flake is a wonderful person and I miss him very much. He has always been a bit strange and would say some random things but he took everything as a joke and he didn’t take xat seriously. More people should have the same mindset as him.
Now let me ask you few questions on your xat preferences.
What do you think about the xat forum?
I rarely reply to threads on the forum, because whenever I do, I somehow end up with a warning. They’re always unfair too. I used to like engaging in forum discussions when I was a contributor though.
What’s your favourite power?
My favorite power is probably Gold.
What is your favourite form of support?
Honestly, I think all support platforms could be greatly improved. But if I was to pick one thing it would be Help, no stupid delays that tickets have and you don’t have to deal with waiting ages for forum replies. I don’t like the wiki at all and never have.
I didn’t know you were a contributor! Did you decide to leave the group?
Has anything shaped you on xat?
The first time I got my account deleted changed the way I was. I stopped being so vocal about stupid things and calmed down a lot. Clearly it didn’t last though as all of my old accounts got deleted. Teehee
Do you have any last word to end this interview?
lmao nah im don